Something funny

Mrs. Label had been a chef and mother for about 38 years.  It was the end of her rope on this sad day, that PBS had decided to shut her down.  After hundreds of mishaps on air, like cursing, throwing tantrums and throwing things at the audience, it was only fitting that on Mothers Day, 2013 she would be taken off the air.  The following is what happened that eve
Lights turn on, Label enter
"Good morning everyone! I hope everyone is having a good mothers day! Due to lack of funding from viewers like you PBS has decided to shut me down! F(*)! Alright lets start off with something everyone likes, MEAT LOAF! Grab a handy pound of it, after thawing it out for about, hmmm, five years it should be about tasteless! Now, without washing your hands, because what mom does? Slowly mound the beef into a shallow bowl, and throw in some chives and other spices! Good just like that! Wait.....youre probably not cooking and watching this.  Youre probably bored.  Anyway....
When youre done just throw it into the oven on broil for about 20 minutes and forget about it!
Now for some conveniently located snacks in perfectly sized bowls!  Take a half pound of potatoes, Oh John you dont have to slice them! Anyway just hollow them out and put the smallest pieces of cheese from the bottom of the bag and be reaaally stingy with it( like the way Mcdonalds is stingy with ranch packets) And some bacon bits (probably left over from dog food) ANd throw those in with the steaks! Or meat loaf! Whatever! S^@* the burner is on! What did we set the burner for John? Nothing? S(*& its broke again! Rico!"
Commercial
"Alright back again, hopefully your family took a smoke break and you're all really edgy! So we got those pork chops done and those potato skins.  Take them out, I already have two and these are WOW Gorgeous!"
*Removes entire blackened plate of food from oven
*Takes bite of leather like potato skins
"Mmmm and you can TASTE the perfection that went into these folks! S*&#!
Now for dessert! We just got some cake from the deli at Lowe's Foods so.....do that! Mmmm leftover Christmas cake! Yumm!"
Lights turn off
"Well it looks like Pbs has forgotten to pay the light bill! S(*&! Well this is goodbye folks! I'm Linda Label, and this has been Cooking in the Country! Bye Yall!!!!"